Laura's Blog

I have no idea  where to start… I have depression, and have had it for several years.  I use to let things bother me so much, but I would hold it all in (repressed thoughts), and then it would surface and I would lose my mind completely.  Now, I go from being happy one minute to feeling so upset, and so unwanted the next minute.  I have no idea what’s going on.  But when that happens, I tend to think everyone hates me and so I’m rude and ignorant to everyone, and I feel like I can’t control it.  Like it just happens.  And once it does happen, and I snap outta that depressed mode, I realize how rude I’ve been to my friends, people I love and care about, and that makes me upset with myself.  I hate myself.  I hate that I can’t control myself enough that I hurt people who’ve done nothing wrong to me.  I do know that not too many people understand what I’m going through.  I’ve met many awesome people from TWLOHA and I’ve built a 2nd-life revolving around being a part of that organization.  Anyways, tonight, I went through one of those sudden depressed modes and I feel as if I’ve hurt some people and I want to apologize for that.  <3  I turned on my iTunes and turned on shuffle and the below song started to play.  I can really relate to that song, so it helped me feel better.

These are the lyrics to Welcome To My Life — Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud 
That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels all right
You don’t know what it’s like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you 
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels all right
You don’t know what it’s like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you 
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy but I’m not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like, what it’s like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you 
No you don’t know what it’s like (what it’s like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you 
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life